


You Are My Safety

by ivorydreams



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bottom Louis, Clubbing, Concerts, Eleanor and Louis are best friends, Eventual Smut, Famous Harry, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Love, Love Bites, M/M, Mentions of Rape, Ordinary Louis, Social Media, Top Harry, Touching, Touring, Zerrie is mentioned once really, dinner date, i don't even know what else to tag to be honest, it really only happens once, some painful memories, sort of, these are a lot of tags and i still suck at it sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-03
Updated: 2014-06-03
Packaged: 2018-02-03 08:11:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1737548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivorydreams/pseuds/ivorydreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis is convinced by his best friend, Eleanor, to go on a date with the boys from One Direction. He never expected to actually befriend one of them.<br/>He’s afraid that Harry will leave him once he finds what Louis truly is. After all he’s not pure.</p><p>Or the one where Louis is trying to recover from a traumatic event in his life and Harry promises to be by his side no matter what.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Are My Safety

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know where this came from really. I've been writting it for a while now. Hopefully you like it. 
> 
> Like I said in the tags, there're mentions of rape so consider yourself warned.

It had been a year. A very long year, and Louis still woke up sweating and screaming and crying. All those horrible memories haunting him.  
  
That was one of the reasons why he couldn't live with his family anymore. They didn't deserve all the worries that came with his return. So he moved alone. Sure his mom and sisters came to visit once a week and his next door neighbor, Eleanor, won't leave him alone. She had become good friends with his mother and dutifully reported everything Louis did back to Jay.  
  
"Louis! Open up, darling! Louis I know you're there love!" And if it was as if Louis had invoked her. She was banging on his door, threatening to take it down.  
  
He quickly got up from his bed, grabbing a shirt along his way and started undoing all the locks on the door. To say he was paranoid was leaving it short. But he had to be careful. No way anyone was taking him away again.  
  
"Is something wrong?" He asked as Eleanor went in as if the place belonged to her. With a sigh he closed the door, securing every lock.  
  
"No. It's quite the opposite actually. I won a date with One Direction! Can you believe it? Its like the biggest band in the world right now and we're going to meet them." Eleanor was jumping from excitement.  
  
"We?"  
  
"Yes. You are definitely coming with me." She followed the short lad to the kitchen. Watched as he put the kettle for tea. "Its going to be fun. And I don't know anyone else who would agree to meet them."  
  
"Yes, you do."  
  
"But I want you to come with me. It'll be brilliant! And it's been a month since you last went out." She refused to address how tired and pale he looked. Louis didn't want people asking him questions. It brought up bad memories. All she could do was be his friend and lend a shoulder when he needed it.  
  
"I don't think that's-"  
  
"It'll be only for two hours at most. Come on Louis. Please! I'll even do your shopping for a week."   
  
Louis pondered the offer for a few minutes. If he went with Eleanor, he just had to endure two hours in public. Then he could stay home for a week without having to go out. Without risking his life. Without people noticing how broken he truly was.  
  
"Two weeks."   
  
"Okay. Deal." They shook hands and Eleanor couldn't stop grinning. "Now lets go find something for you to wear. The dinner is tonight."  
  
Louis let himself be dragged to his room. Tea long forgotten and nerves kicking in.  
  
"You look amazing in these." Eleanor pulled out a pair of black jeans. "And I've always loved this one." She set down a white button up shirt.   
  
"El, I don't like my arms. I don't even know why I still have that shirt." Louis made a face.  
  
"You're beautiful Louis. Never forget that. But okay." Not wanting to make him feel any more uncomfortable she pulled out a gray long sleeved shirt.  
"Now take a shower. I'll go get ready and I'll come for you in around an hour."  
  
And once again Louis was alone. He quickly went to lock the door and then started undressing, avoiding the mirrors. He really wanted to throw them out but didn't want his mom worrying over him.

  
  
~~

 

Two hours later they were getting out of a car and led into a fancy restaurant.   
  
Eleanor looked beautiful in the blue dress she wore. The heels she wore made her look taller than Louis. She held his hand reassuringly as they walked to a more private area of the restaurant. Right where One Direction was waiting for them.  
  
"Have a good time." The woman smiled at them and opened the door to the private room.  
  
When the glass door closed and they came face to face with the lads from One Direction.  
  
"Hello." The curly haired boy grinned. Dimples appearing and giving Louis a hard time to keep his eyes off.  
  
"Hi!" Eleanor's voice oozed excitement. Her hand tightening on Louis' to assure him everything was fine. "I'm Eleanor and this is Louis. We're so happy to meet you all."  
  
"Likewise. I'm Harry." Curly boy stretched his hand for a shake. Kissing Eleanor on the cheek and then moving onto Louis who panicked and looked at El screaming silently for help.  
  
' _Its okay_ ' she mouthed.  
  
Reluctantly Louis shook hands with Harry, repeating the gesture with Zayn, Niall and Liam. Quickly retreating his hand and not looking at any of them in the eye.  
  
Once seated he let himself relax a little. Eleanor was by his left, Liam on his right, Zayn next to Eleanor and Harry across from him. It was a round table and Louis didn't like it. It brought horrible things to mind.  
  
Thankfully, Eleanor kept her hand on his. It calmed him some.  
  
"Hope you two like pasta." Zayn smiled as they were served.  
  
"We do." It was Eleanor who replied.  
  
It was quiet for a few minutes. Nobody touching their food until Niall demanded them to start.  
  
It was involuntary, months of being beaten into rules, of being treated like an animal. He went to grab at the chicken on the pasta. It took him a few seconds before he realized what he was doing. With a wince he jerked his hand back, closed his eyes with a sigh, and grabbed the fork.  
  
Eleanor gave him a reassuring smile. Everyone had noticed his slip.  
  
When he took the pasta into his mouth a tiny piece landed on the table. Louis instantly went pale. Sitting stiffly and swallowing his food with a grimse. He waited for the burn of the leather belt on his back but it never came. Neither did the insults or the hair pulling.  
  
"You're okay. It was an accident, love. You're okay." Eleanor's whispered assurances made him continue eating. Avoiding eye contact with everyone. Keeping his head down.  
  
This had been a bad choice. Bad idea. He should have stayed home.  
  
"So, how long have you two been together?" Harry wondered.  
  
Eleanor choked on her drink. Louis frowned at his plate.  
  
"We're not together. Just friends." El smiled.  
  
"Oh. It just seemed like you two were a couple." Harry still didn't sound convinced.  
  
"We're really good friends that's all." She assured. They've been through this once and had ended up discussing it.  
  
"Well you do look good together so maybe-"  
  
"I'm gay and she's not available. So no, we're never going to date." Louis said abruptly. Interrupting Liam and earning stares for actually speaking.  
  
"Unless you're a man and never bothered to tell me." Louis smiled a little at Eleanor. Trying his best to bring his old self back. To make this pleasant for El.  
  
"I'm sorry honey, I'm all woman. You can ask James."  
  
"I'll take your word for it." Louis winced at the pictures in head. Pushing the bad ones away.  
  
For some reason the boys laughed. It startle Louis enough to lift his gaze and come eye to eye with green. Harry was looking intently at him. A small smile on his lips. Louis quickly looked away.  
  
When dessert was served Louis felt uncomfortable. Chocolate brought those horrible memories back. Being burned by it. Having several sets of lips and hands running all over his body. The cries of help that were never heard.   
  
"Excuse me." Louis got up abruptly and left.  
  
Eleanor wanted to run after him but at times like these Louis liked to be alone. He didn't want to be touched.  
  
"Is he sick?" Niall stared at the door and then at her.  
  
"No. Its just-" she sighed. "I shouldn't say this, but when he comes back the last thing he needs to see is pity or get asked what's wrong. Louis, he was um away for some time and its been hard for him to adjust."  
  
"Away? As in mental institution away?" Zayn got a death glare from the girl.  
  
"He was kidnapped!" She snapped. "For two fucking years by some sadistic group that thought it was completely fine to  keep him. Now when Louis comes back all of you will act normal. As if nothing happened." She scared the boys a little. "Please. I had to practically drag him out of his apartment. He hasn't gone out in a month. I don't want him feeling worse. So just please-"  
  
"Sorry about that." Louis came in. "Did I interrupt something?"  
  
He felt too many eyes on him. Its as if everyone was in shock one minute and then they all smiled.  
  
"Just recalling when Liam slipped on a concert and took Niall down with him." Harry grinned succeeding in lightening the mood if just by a little.  
  
Unaware of the boy's sudden change of mood, Louis took his seat next to Eleanor. Promising himself over and over that everything was okay, that he didn't need to hold her hand. That, while here, nobody was going to hurt him.  
  
After that there were no more incidents. While eating anyways.

  
  
It was when they were about to leave. Eleanor asked for a picture with Niall which then turned out to be a picture with all the boys. Then said boys practically made Louis take a group picture with them. After that Harry insisted on taking a picture with Louis, on both his phone and Eleanor's.   
  
But the thing that startled Louis wasn't the pictures or Harry's insistence on taking a several pictures with him. No, it was Harry slipping something on the back pocket of Louis' pants.  
  
"Give me a call sometime. If you know, if you want to talk or hang out again." Harry murmured in his ear. Louis tried his best not to flinch at the contact.   
  
This is the first time that another person, other than his family and Eleanor, has touched him like that. No, that's not true. They didn't dare linger in touches, much less brush a hand on his bum. So yes, he was startled and slightly frightened by the idea of someone touching him. But somehow, somehow he knew Harry wasn't trying to hurt him.  
  
Louis' responded with a nod. Harry pulled away with a big grin on his face, those dimples ready to bring anyone in close range to their knees.

  
  
~~

  
In an hour he was back in his home. Locked in, laying down on his bed with just a pair of pajama bottoms, staring at the napkin. It had numbers scribbled down and below them it read Harry's name with a smiley face next to it.  
  
Louis grabbed his phone and saved the number under the singer's name. It wasn't like he needed a code for it. Who would even grab his phone? And if they saw Harry's name, they'll never think it was the boy from One Direction.  
  
With a sigh he looked at the contact. No, he wasn't going to call or text. Not today, or ever really. Harry probably did it out of pity. Or he was just too nice and probably didn't really expect Louis to call.   
  
He still kept the number.  
  
Now he went through his pictures. Eleanor had sent him all of the ones she took. There were more of him and Harry than he really thought. Eleanor had made it her mission to take every shot she could get because there were several were it was him and Harry staring into Harry's phone, not El's.  
  
That didn't matter now, though. It was all over with. He'll probably never hear about the curly boy anymore. But he was glad Eleanor sent him the pictures.

  
  
~~

  
  
It had been two days since the dinner. Louis sat on his couch in front of the TV with a bag of almonds.  
  
He hadn't seen Eleanor since yesterday morning, but she had been actively texting him every few hours. Probably making sure he was still alive. It  was a wonder James hadn't come over and whined about taking too much of his girlfriend's time.  
  
So when his phone beeped with a new text message, he thought it was her. Oh, how wrong he was.  
  
 **Harry**  
 _Hello Louis! I had to get your number from your friend because you never bother to text me._  
  
Another beep..  
  
 **Harry**  
 _Oh that made me sound like a stalker. I swear I'm not!_  
  
Beep.  
  
 **Harry**  
 _Anyways, I really want to get to know you. To be quite honest there's something about you that draws me in. Cheesy I know, but it's true. So what do you say? Want to hang out today? If you don't have a good time and want me to stop bothering you, I swear I will._  
  
And another beep. Louis was ready to change the sound or set the phone to vibrate.  
  
 **Harry**  
 _Give me a chance to get to know you and for you to know me._  
  
Louis bit the inside of his cheek and read Harry's texts. He had no clue why Harry wanted to hang out with him. But the mere thought of going out made Louis cringe.   
  
 _Hi Harry. You didn't sound too much like a stalker. And I simply thought you didn't really wanted me to text you. And about hanging out, I am not too comfortable into being outdoors._  
  
Louis stared at his phone and waited for a reply. After several minutes he got it.  
  
 **Harry**  
 _I was discussing things with the lads, how about I go to yours? I don't have a problem in visiting you. if you want me to, I mean._  
  
After turning off the TV, Louis quickly called Eleanor.  
  
"Harry wants to come over." He blurted as soon as his friend picked up.  
  
"What? That's great, Louis!"  
  
"Its not! El, I'm awkward, paranoid and definitely not comfortable with a man in my home."  
  
"Louis, he's not going to hurt you. Seems genuinely interested in you." Why did she sound so excited?  
  
"Why would he be interested in me? And you know I can't, I can't be with anyone El." Louis fought back the tears.  
  
"Baby, its okay. Just be friends with him then. He seems quite nice and it'll do you good to hang out with someone new."  
  
"If you don't hear from me by tonight, please come look for me. _Please_." Louis begged her.  
  
"Of course honey. But he won't hurt you. You'll see." And just like that his decision was made.  
  
 _Okay, you can come over. Just you, though._  
  
He proceeded on giving Harry his address.  
  
 **Harry**  
 _Thanks Louis. I'll be over in about an hour. You won't regret it!_

  
  
"I hope so." Louis set his phone down and started tidying the place a little. He also checked all the hiding spots of his knives. He had to make sure to have something to defend himself with in any situation.  
  
He quickly showered and dressed up in black sweat pants and a gray jumper. Trying his best not to show much shape of his body.   
The knock on the door startled him. His heart beating twice as fast.   
  
He quickly made his way to the door and asked who it was before opening. The started unlocking when it was Harry.  
  
"Hi!" And just like El, Harry walked in as if he owned the place. And if he noticed Louis securing all the locks, he didn't mention it.  
  
"What's all these?" Louis followed Harry as he found the kitchen.  
  
"Since we're staying in, and I didn't know what you had here, I stopped at a groceries store. Got us ingredients to make us a pizza and cake."   
  
"We could've bought it made."  
  
"And what fun is that?" Harry seemed offended and as Louis was about to apologize, Harry went on. "Plus, its something we can do together. And I can test your cooking skills. Oh! I also brought some video games. I didn't know if you had a console so I brought that as well."  
  
"Sorry for making you go through all this trouble." Louis stared at his shoes.  
  
"It's no trouble, Lou. And I understand that you prefer being here." Harry smiled at him, placing a finger under his chin to make him meet his eyes. "Its cozy."  
  
At Louis' nod, Harry started taking things out and telling Louis what to do with them.   
  
He had to admit that it was sort of fun. Harry was really great.  
  
With the cake in the oven Louis and Harry set down the table to start eating the pizza.  
  
"This is really good." Louis was seconds from moaning. He'd never tasted anything so good in a long time. So homemade.  
  
"Thanks." Harry blushed and Louis had to look away.  
  
"Tell me about you." Harry said after a while of silence.  
  
"There's not much to say." Louis shifted uncomfortably in his seat, pulling the sleeves of his jumper.  
  
"I have an older sister. Her name's Gemma. I haven't seen her or my mom in about a year. I really miss them. Hmm... I'm quite clumsy at times. My jokes aren't the best, but I try. What else? Oh! I have four nipples." Harry sounded oddly proud.  
  
"You do?" Louis was on the verge of smiling. Something told him he should try more.  
  
"Yes." Harry got up, lifted his shirt and pointed out each nipple. "One, two, three and four."  
  
All Louis could think of was how great Harry's chest looked. How lickable.  
  
"Lou?"  
  
The nickname gave him butterflies in his stomach.  
  
"I'm sorry, what?" Louis' noticed Harry's smirk as he sat down. The blush creeping on his cheeks was unstoppable.  
  
"Do you have sisters?"  
  
"Four. They live with my mom. I haven't seen them in about two weeks. They come and visit weekly but I've convinced them to postpone the trip. I don't like them worrying." Louis shrugged and took another bite of the slice of pizza.  
  
"How did you meet Eleanor?" Harry wondered out loud.  
  
"When I moved in here. She practically kept bugging me until I really talked to her. I'm glad she insisted. She's my best friend and there are many things I couldn't have done without her." It surprised Louis how honest he was being with Harry.  
  
"She sounds like a stubborn lady."   
  
"She is." Louis smiled a little. "What about you? Do you get along with all of the guys from the band?"  
  
"Yes. Definitely. It wouldn't work otherwise. They're all great, I don't know what I'll do without them."  
  
It was easier to talk about things after that. Harry got Louis opening up for him little by little. He never brought up the kidnapping Eleanor mentioned. Never made a comment if Louis slipped and did something that was out of the ordinary. Like waiting for Harry to try the food first, waiting for some sort of approval to follow, he only once ate with his fingers. Cake all over them.  
  
If Harry was patient enough maybe Louis would tell him what had happened. If the people that hurt him payed for what they did. If not, he was ready to take matters into his own hands.   
  
It angered him that anyone would want to hurt Louis, when all he wanted to do is wrap him up in his arms and never let go. To shower him with gentle kisses, to do anything to make him smile.  
  
Harry saw red when he followed the short lad into the kitchen. Louis had offered him some tea while they waited for the cake. And as he tried to reach over for the tea, standing on his tiptoes, his jumper went up revealing his lower back.   
  
Scars. Fading scars. Louis had scars on his lower back and Harry wondered if he had many more. If that's why he wore long sleeves.  
  
It angered him to the point where he had to bite his tongue so hard it drew blood, to stop himself from reaching over and hugging Louis. To stop him from searching and killing whoever put those scars there.  
  
Instead he faked a smile as Louis turned around and didn't say a word of what he saw during his stay.

  
  
  
It was hours later when Harry was leaving. Regretfully so.  
  
"How about we do this again sometime?" He suggested as he stood by the door.  
  
"You actually want to do this again?" Louis seemed startled.  
  
"Yes. Why do you doubt that?"  
  
"I just thought... I thought I was boring you half of the time. And nobody likes spending too much time with me. Except Eleanor, but that's about it."  
  
The way Louis was staring up at him wide eyed, wonder in them, made Harry was to kiss the life out of him.  
  
"Well add me to the list of exceptions because I had fun today. You didn't bore me, and I would like to repeat this. Its alright if you don't want to go out, I can always come. That's if you're okay with it." Harry had the satisfaction of seen Louis blush a pretty pink.  
  
"I'm okay with it."  
  
"Great! I'll see you soon then." Harry gave Louis a quick hug and placed a kiss to his forehead. "Bye Lou."  
  
"Bye Harry." And again Louis was blushing.

  
  
~~

  
Two months had passed since the first visit Harry made Louis. They kept in contact and Harry visited Louis as much as he could. Coming up with different things for them to do in doors.  
  
Louis had easily warmed up to Harry. He loved spending time with him, texting him, talking to him. It was easy to be around him now. It didn't scare him when Harry touched him. It didn't make him uncomfortable when Harry kissed his forehead whenever he left.  
  
It shamed Louis to want Harry to properly kiss him. To feel those perfect lips against his own.  
  
He wasn't absolutely sure he would stand being touched like that again, but he was willing to try it with Harry. If only the boy could see him as more than a friend.  
  
Louis hadn't seen Harry in a month, due to the fact that he was touring. But Harry always texted him, everyday.   
  
While Harry was on the other side of the world, Louis sat on the couch across from his TV, the news on. He was about to turn off the thing when a picture of Harry came up.  
  
"Harry Styles from One Direction, was spotted leaving a hotel with this lovely woman. Could it be that our Harry has found a new love interest? Perhaps its his turn to settle down..." the woman kept on going and Louis felt something like a fist clench around his heart.  
  
How could he have forgotten Harry was straight? That he had a life away from Louis.   
  
With tears staining his cheeks he turned off the TV and went to bed. He didn't received the usual goodnight from Harry and didn't bother sending him one.

 

~~

  
A week after that rumor of Harry and the blonde, he still hadn't heard from him.  
  
It hurt because Louis had let him in. Had taken a chance and now Harry had forgotten about him. He couldn't do the same.  
  
It was his own fault really. He was the one who made things seem more personal than they were. He was the one who thought Harry wanted to be more than friends.  
  
And with Harry not trying to contact him anymore, made it very clear that the singer didn't want to know anything about him. He was probably trying to pass the time while his stay here and Louis was the challenge.  
  
"How could I have been so stupid?" Louis cried as he settled on the couch.

~~

  
A month passed and Louis had gone back to his routine. He stopped expecting Harry to call or to text. He changed the channel whenever he saw him on the news. He didn't talk about him or of ever meeting him.  
  
He was close to deleting the pictures from his phone but something always stopped him.  
  
Eleanor surprisingly gave up on trying to make him go out and have fun. His mother and sisters stopped visiting all together.  
  
It was all his fault.

  
  
~~

  
  
He was coming home from the groceries store, since Eleanor had refused to go for him. Saying that at least he had to go out for that.  
  
So when he saw a tall figure outside his door he panicked.  
  
Why was there a man outside his home? Should he scream? Run away? Stare until the man left?  
  
"Louis?"  
  
He recognized the voice, that face, those curls. It angered him that he wanted to run up to Harry and hold on. Hold on and never let go.  
  
"What are you doing here?" The was no emotion in Louis' voice and Harry winced.  
  
"I came to apologize. I never got in contact with you again, but I swear it wasn't intentional."  
  
"Of course." Louis rolled his eyes.  
  
"Please let me in. I can explain." Harry begged.  
  
"Why? So you can get my hopes up and then leave again?" And damn him for wanting to cry.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Louis. I really am. God, I've missed you so much." Harry got closer but Louis took a step back. Hurt flashed in the tall boys eyes.  
  
"If you had you would've called." And Louis cursed himself for letting tears fall.  
  
"Don't cry Lou. Please, baby, don't. It's all Gemma's fault. She threw my phone in the pool and I couldn't get your number. None of the boys had it and I couldn't remember Eleanor's either. I tried calling so many numbers, wishing you'll pick up. I'm  so sorry. I was so worried you'll hate me, but I couldn't come back just yet." Harry ran his thumb over Louis' cheeks, cleaning the tears away. "I just got back. I wanted to see you."  
  
Louis sighed and opened the door to his home. "Come in."  
  
Harry let out a sigh of relief as he followed Louis inside. Followed him to the kitchen as he set down the bags on the counter.  
  
"I thought you didn't want to hang out anymore." He made sure his back was to Harry, so the tall boy wouldn't see the hurt in his face.  
  
"No, Lou. Never think that again. I love spending time with you, talking to you. It's just that I couldn't come back sooner. Gemma thought she was being funny and ended up dropping the phone in the pool. I really tried finding your number again." The way Harry was looking at Louis made his heart beat faster.  
  
"It's okay. I believe you." Louis gave Harry a small smile. Was rewarded with a big grin, showing his dimples.  
  
"I really missed you." Harry pulled Louis into his arms. Holding onto the smaller boy tightly.   
  
Louis buried his face into Harry's neck. He could get drunk on his smell. Then he felt as if something had hit him. He pulled back quickly.  
  
"What's wrong?" Harry looked a bit hurt.  
  
"Nothing, um, I ah-" he felt dumb.  
  
"It's okay. Say it." Harry encouraged.  
  
"That girl from the news. Is she, uh- I know its none of my business but um, do you have a girlfriend? I mean, is she your girlfriend?" Louis' face was hot and he didn't dare look at Harry in the eyes.  
  
"Don't believe anything the media says about me, Lou. They like to set their imagination loose. But I'm glad you're asking, and I want you to keep doing that. If you have doubts or any question, come to me first." Harry placed his hand on Louis' cheek and made him look at him.  
  
"Is she? Your girlfriend, I mean."  
  
"No." Harry shaked his head for emphasis. "I'm not in a relationship with her. She's just a friend. Actually, I'm very interested in someone else."  
  
"Oh." Louis couldn't hide his disappointment. His chest hurt. Right, Harry was just his friend. He needed to live with that. Plus, who would want to date someone as broken as him? Someone as disgusting.  
  
"He's really lovely, a lot of fun to be around. He has the most amazing eyes too. My heart starts beating faster when I'm around him, he makes me want to be a better person. He's the most beautiful person I've ever seen." Harry was grinning and his eyes were full of love.  
  
If Louis was broken before now he shattered. Harry was in love. In love with a  boy and now Louis didn't stand a chance.  
  
"I'm glad. You sound very much in love, I'm sure he will be very happy to know that. He's a lucky guy." Louis forced a smile and turned around to make  tea. To distract himself before he started crying. "You never mentioned you were gay."  
  
"I'm bi actually. And I thought I was obvious Lou."   
  
"Well, I'm happy for you. What's his name?"  
  
When Harry laughed Louis turned around. "Don't laugh at me!"  
  
"I'm not. Jesus, Louis. Its you, I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you this whole time. I couldn't be more obvious if I tried."  
  
"What? Wait, you're in- me?" Louis as shocked.  
  
"Yes. I love you very much. Everyone knows that I do and you never seemed to notice. So I thought that you didn't like me that way. I still don't know if you like me that way." Harry looked hopeful.  
  
"After what I went through, I thought I could never be with anyone. Intimately or not. The mere thought of having someone close to me scared me. And then, then you came and I just-" Louis shook his head. "I wanted you close. I liked hearing you speak, liked watching your expressions, I liked the way you would always kiss my forehead before leaving. Up to a point I wished you'll give me a real kiss. And that still scares me. I haven't tried being with anyone since I came back and no one really tried getting close to me."  
  
Harry was staring intently at Louis, urging him to continue. He did.  
  
"I'm not pure Harry. Whatever I had of that was  taken from me. I'm broken. I'm filthy. You deserve better."  
  
"You're not filthy Louis. You're not. You're perfect. You're amazing and beautiful. And you deserve better than me, but I'm willing to fight until I am that better. I'm willing to fight for you."  
  
"You don't know what happened to me. What I became." Louis was now crying.  
  
"Tell me. Explain to me." Harry gathered him close, pressing several kisses on his head.  
  
"You'll be disgusted. You won't want to see me again." He held on tightly to Harry. He didn't want to slip away.  
  
"I won't Lou. I love you and I'll stand by  you, no matter what. Never doubt that."  
  
At Louis' nod, Harry led him to the living room, taking a seat and waiting for Louis to be ready.  
  
"A little over two years ago, I was walking home from football practice. I wasn't paying attention, I was listening to music and then I was being pulled into a car and knocked out. When I woke up I was in an empty room, chained to the floor by the ankle and neck." Louis closed his eyes.  
  
"It's okay, take your time." Louis felt Harry's hand on his and continued talking with his eyes closed.  
  
"It felt like days being in there. I was so hungry and thirsty. On the verge of passing out when they came in. Four men. All around their thirties probably. Mean looks and a sadistic smirks. I asked what they wanted, why they had me there, begged them to let me go. But they just laughed and soon... soon they were taking my clothes off and, you can imagine the rest." Louis sighed, not daring to open his eyes as he went on. "Once they were finished they left me, chained naked and feeling like scum. Then it turned into a routine. They would bring me food and water, take turns fucking me. Sometimes I was lucky and it was one at a time."  
  
He hadn't noticed he was crying until  he felt Harry's hand wiping the tears away.  
  
"A month after that, they finally let me out of the room. They had others there too. But none dared to talk. I was led like a dog by a leash. I was taught to use my hands and mouth to feed myself, no silverware or anything a human uses. You see, I was lower than an animal. Soon I learned to obey, to do what they said and if I was lucky they would let me sleep with a blanket. They would feed me properly; let me shower. If I was lucky they'll fuck me one at a time without beating me. If I was lucky they'll be gentle. If i was  lucky I could escape. If I was lucky they would all die." Louis was now sobbing, holding onto Harry's hand for dear life. He'd only told this to Eleanor. To his mom, he gave less details.  
  
"I was never lucky." He wiped the tears angrily. "It took the police two years to find me. But it was too late really. Three boys and one girl   were killed in there. Another committed suicide. I was close to doing it myself but decided to fight to get out. But one night policemen came and  got us all out. Three of the bastards died and the other is rotting in jail." Louis sighed.  
  
"I always thought that when I went back home I'll be relieved and happy and safe. But it was the opposite, it was hard to get used to being me again. It was hard to adjust. And the scars are a daily reminder of what happened." Louis finally opened his eyes and stared at his hand being swallowed by Harry's. "Sometimes I still wake up because of the nightmares. I still wake up and panic at the  thought of being back in that house. I still cringe when new people touch me; I'm paranoid whenever I go out. I'm not exactly the best person to fall in love with. I'm broken Harry."  
  
Louis was surprised to see anger in the green eyes across from him. He expected disgust but not anger.  
  
He let out a gasp as Harry pulled him into his arms and held on tightly. His face buried in Louis' neck and his hand running slow circles on his back.  
  
"I wish I could kill them all for what they did. I wish that I could've helped you. Baby, I am so sorry for what they did to you. You, nobody, deserves that." Harry said against his ear. "And you're so strong Louis. Stronger than you think. This is not going to make me walk away. I'm going to stay by your side and we're going to go through this together."  
  
"Do you mean it?" Louis sounded, felt, so small.  
  
"Of course I mean it. I love you Louis. Nothing is going to make me walk away." Harry pulled back far enough to look at the shorter lad in the eyes. "You are stuck with me, darling."  
  
It made Louis chuckle and want to jump up and thank which ever God that sent Harry his way.  
  
"Can I kiss you?" Harry quickly followed. "You don't have to say yes if you're not comfortable with that."  
  
"One question first." At Harry's nod, Louis continued. "What if I'm not ready to be with you? Intimately I mean."  
  
"Honey, I'll wait for you as long as you want me to. And even if you never want me to touch you like that, I'll still be here. Just know that when you tell me to stop or to slow down or to give you space, I will. I won't ever force you into anything."  
  
Louis felt like crying again but fought the tears back. "Okay."  
  
"Okay, I can kiss you. Or okay, you liked my speech?"  
  
"Okay you can kiss me." Louis laughed and Harry couldn't be happier.  
  
Slowly Harry went closer to him. Grabbing the sides of his face gently. Then his lips were on him and Louis jumped a little.  
  
"Alright?" Harry asked against his lips.  
  
"Yeah. Sorry."  
  
"No need to apologize, baby. Its okay." Harry smiled and went to kiss him again. This time Louis didn't move back. He let Harry lead the way. If anyone asked he'll tell them he saw stars.   
  
Harry was so gentle and loving, making Louis sigh into his mouth. When Harry trailed his tongue over Louis' bottom lip, he hesitated then remembered who was kissing him and let Harry in.  
  
The moan that left Louis was involuntary. Harry's grip on him tightened for a second before he relaxed, keeping the kiss gentle. The touch tender.  
  
"You are beautiful." Harry murmured against his lips. Then started kissing all over Louis' blushing face. "Your eyes, your nose, your cheekbones," Harry said as he kissed each place. "Your forehead, your chin, your lips."  
  
A very gentle and cautious kiss was placed there. He didn't want to startle Louis.  
  
"God, your smile. The way your eyes shine when you do is the most precious thing." He was now looking at Louis with so much love that the smaller lad wanted to cry from joy. "You are the best thing that's ever happened to me."  
  
"I love you!" Louis blurted.  
  
"Don't look so scared about it, love. The feeling is mutual." Harry rubbed his nose along Louis' and then kissed it. "How do you feel about dinner?"  
  
"I brought food. Unless you want to go out." Louis fiddled with the sleeves of his shirt nervously.  
  
"We can eat here. And when you're ready we can have dates out. I could take you to restaurants, theater, the zoo if you want. Wherever you want to go, but all when you're ready."  
  
And with that Louis was throwing himself at Harry, hugging him like a lifeline.  
  
  
It was when they were finishing up their food when Harry brought up serious topics again.  
  
"Lou, you know how I'm in a band?" Harry started off with a wince.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And how we tour around the world?"  
  
"I know Harry. I can work a long distance relationship, if that's what you're worried about." Then Louis panicked. "Or are you trying to tell me you don't want that?"  
  
"No, no, no! It's not that. I do want to be with you. What I'm getting as is that sometimes paps follow me, sometimes people ask my relationship status in interviews and I just wanted to ask you if you were okay with me letting people know we're together." Harry was blushing and staring intently into Louis' blue eyes.  
  
"Why wouldn't you tell them?" Louis frowned in confusion. "I mean, if you haven't come out I won't say anything."  
  
"I've come out. People know I'm bisexual. My point is, when people know I'm dating they'll want to know who and soon everything about you. If we're spotted together people will take pictures. On awards shows I'll want you next to me, on concerts I'll want you with me." Harry smiled a bit. "You'll also be on the news, social media and the sort. I just want to know if you're comfortable with that."  
  
Louis thought over everything that Harry said. It was nothing he really had to balance out, to dramatize over. He wanted Harry, knew who Harry was, knew this was his life.  
  
"I have no problem. I mean, I want people to know you're not available. And I want to see you perform, and when we go out I'll want to hold your hand. Couple things, you know?" Louis blushed at the way Harry was staring at him. Dimples showing as he grinned.   
  
"I don't want to hide or you to hide for me. I've done that enough for the both of us. I just ask to go slowly. I'm not very good with crowds yet. But I'll give it my best."  
  
"Thank you, Louis." Harry grabbed his hand. "Thanks for trusting me and for willing to put up with everything that comes with me. I promise we'll do things slow. At our own pace. Both of us comfortable."  
  
"Thanks. Can't wait to tell my mom I have a boyfriend. Is time she stopped worrying." Louis blushed.  
  
"My family is going to love you."  
  
"Mine already does." Louis chuckled, remembering how Eleanor had mentioned his sister's love for the band.

  
~~

Right after Harry left, Louis went to grab his phone and dialed his mother's number. She had to know he was going to make an effort. Not for everyone else, but for himself. Even though Harry did give him a push, it was time he stopped being a victim, stopped blaming the world, stopped hiding and throwing his life away.  
  
"Hello?" Came his mother's nervous voice. It was as if she'd been walking on eggshells ever since he came back.  
  
"Hi, mom. How are you?"  
  
"I'm good. How are you? Is something wrong?"  
  
"Everything is fine. I just wanted to give you the news myself." He shifted nervously in his seat. "I've got a boyfriend."  
  
Silence.  
  
His mom's heavy breathing.  
  
More silence.  
  
"Mom?" Did she faint? Louis wondered.  
  
"Oh my god! Louis I'm so happy for you, baby. Where did you meet him? Eleanor told me you haven't gone out much." She sounded excited and confused at the same time.  
  
"Remember when Eleanor took me on that date with One Direction?"  
  
"Yes. Did you meet him there?"  
  
"Yes. Actually he was in the date..."  
  
He waited to see if he was being too subtle, waited for his mom to catch on. But was ready to blurt he was dating Harry.  
  
"Wait. You're dating one of the lads from One Direction?! Who? Lottie get over here! Tell me who is single from One Direction." His mom interrupted him as he was about to blurt out the who.  
  
"Niall and Harry." Lottie's confused voice was barely audible. "Why?"  
  
"Your brother is dating one of them!"  
  
"He's dating Harry?!" Now Lottie's voice was louder and Louis felt he wasn't in the conversation anymore.  
  
"Why Harry? How can you be so sure? Didn't you say Niall was available too?" His mother accused.  
  
"That's because Harry is the only bisexual of the group. Its the only way. Unless Niall lied about not liking boys."  
  
"Louis? Which one is it?" Now he was allowed in the conversation. He nearly didn't answer.  
  
"Harry. I'm with Harry." He had to pull the phone several inches away from his ear.  
  
"Fiz! Louis is dating Harry Bloody Styles!" Lottie screamed.  
  
"My baby has a boyfriend!" His mom was crying. "When do we get to meet him? Since when have you been dating?"  
  
"We've been hanging out and talking over the phone since the dinner date. But officially, we're been together for a couple of hours. He just left." Louis couldn't get rid of the smile on his face even if he wanted to. "And I don't know when you'll meet. I have to check with him. His schedule is all over the place."  
  
"You sound happy Louis. Are you happy?"  
  
"I am mom. I really am." He took a deep breath. "And I want to apologize for making these past months so hard on you and the girls."  
  
"There's nothing to apologize for, honey. What you went through... it isn't easy to get over with." She sounded like she was about to cry again.  
  
"I'm getting there. I'm trying to." Louis got up and went to check the fridge. Yes there was enough food. "How about you and the girls come over tomorrow for lunch? We can fix something together."  
  
"Yes!" He regretted not asking this before. His mom sounded excited. "Of course honey!"  
  
"Alright then. I have to go now. See you tomorrow."  
  
"Bye. I love you sweetie."  
  
"Love you too mom."  
  
And he started cleaning up the place. Suddenly he had too much energy.  
  
Perhaps talking to Harry helped. Maybe it was the fact that he told the whole story again and let himself feel again. Feel the pain and the anger without feeling weak or stupid. It could have been the love and determination in Harry's eyes. Perhaps he realized everyone was making an effort for him except himself.  
  
So he bowed to try his best to make this work. To stop being afraid and stop hiding away. Sure he was going to go one step at a time. It's not like he'll run to a club and dance sexily for some drunk man. (Not that he ever did that) But he was determined to get better. To feel better and ease, make those around him happy.

~~

  
He was dressed in a pair of jeans that hugged his curves but weren't too tight. A white jumper that swallowed his upper half, the sleeves rolled up of course. He was making an effort to change. First step was his clothes.  
  
Part of the reason he didn't like showing his arms was because he had scars here and there. On his wrists from the bindings, on his forearms from the defensive wounds of the beatings.   
  
He had to learn to live with them so others learned the same.  
  
The knock on the door startled him. Loud noises always did. He quickly slipped on shoes and went to open.  
  
"Hi El." He smiled at her.  
  
"Wow. You look stunning. Are you going out?" Disbelief coated her voice.  
  
"No. Mom and the girls are coming over."  
  
"Really? That is great, Louis! Here I was ready to fight you so we could got out and party some. I mean it is time you find that perfect boy that makes you see stars and rainbows and all that. But we can do that some other time." Eleanor grinned and signaled James to give her  a minute. "You can come with us next time? It's just a bar. Not too crowded and nice music. The kind you like. Pretty nice people too."  
  
"I um, I don't think that'll be a good idea."  
  
"Why? It's good for you to go out. Meet new people. You could find the love of your life!" Eleanor was grinning. Feeling happy Louis was going to share the evening with his family and slightly worried he was going back into hiding afterwards.  
  
"I have a boyfriend!" He blurted out and quickly cover his mouth with both hands. Too late though.  
  
"What? Since when?" He opened his mouth to answer but she waved a hand at him. "More importantly, who?"  
  
"Since yesterday. And its Harry."  
  
"Harry? You know a Harry? Is it the mailman? No his name is Pete. The plumber? Nah that's Dereck. Hmm..." Eleanor was lost in thought and to her utter astonishment Louis laughed. A real laugh.  
  
"Harry. As in the one from One Direction? Harry Styles? Tall, curly hair, green eyes? We had dinner with him and his friends a couple months ago? Ring any bells?"  
  
"That Harry?!" Her mouth was hanging open. Louis nodded furiously.  
  
"Oh my god! Louis I'm so happy for you! Told you he was interested. Can't believe you have a boyfriend! My matching skills are put to waste, I guess I'll have to  find Ms. Rossi a boyfriend."  
  
"El she's eighty."  
  
"So? She still has a heart." She shook her head and gave Louis a quick hug. "'M so happy for you. Got to go. We'll talk about this later though!"  
  
"Bye!" Louis watched as James threw an arm around her as she talked animatedly to him.   
  
He was about to  close the door when he heard his sister's voice.  
  
"Don't close. We're coming! We're coming!" Phoebe yelled.  
  
Sure enough they were all running to the door while his mom speed walked behind them. They all seemed happy and Louis regretted not doing this before.  
  
"Hi!" Phoebe threw her arms around him, holding on tight. Daisy followed and then so did Fizzie and Lottie. He quickly reminded himself that they weren't trying to hurt him. They hugged him because they loved him.  
  
"Go on inside then." Louis smiled at his sisters. Once they did Louis turned to his mother who quickly gathered him in a tight hug.   
  
"I'm so happy to see you." Jay murmured against her son's ear.  
  
"Me too mom." He pulled back. "Lets get inside."  
  
  
In the kitchen Jay and Louis finished making food while his sisters played around in the living room.  
  
"Tell me about Harry." Jay asked.  
  
"He's really nice. Very polite. Sometimes he makes the worst jokes ever. He doesn't mind being here with me. Never has complained about not going out. Is very patient. Really beautiful too." Louis blushed a deep pink at that.  
  
"He sounds like a lovely guy." Jay smiled but deep down was worried about her son. What if Harry just wanted to pass the time? What if he wasn't as patient as Louis thought and ended up hurting him?  
Hundredths of different scenarios kept running through her head.  
  
"Food's ready!" Louis called for his sisters.  
  
The table was set, all of them sitting down and ready to start when there was a knock on the door.  
  
"Were you expecting someone?" Jay asked as uncertain look crossed her sons eyes.  
  
"No. I'll check." He excused himself and went to the door.  
  
"Harry!" Jay heard the unmistakable joy in her son's voice and her heart clenched. If this Harry hurt him...  
  
"Lou," Harry smiled down at his boyfriend. "Sorry for coming unannounced. My battery died." He waved his phone for emphasis.   
  
"It's okay." Louis smiled and closed the door. "Did something happen?"  
  
Harry shook his head. "Just wanted to see you."  
  
Louis blushed.  
  
"Can I?" Harry asked as he leaned closer. At Louis' nod he smiled and finally kissed him. He kept the kiss gentle, his hands on Louis' waist.  
  
For a minute Jay didn't hear anything and nearly sprang from her chair.  
  
"Missed you." Harry kissed Louis' forehead.  
  
"You saw me yesterday." Louis giggled.  
  
"And your point is?" Harry chuckled. Then smelled something different. "You cooked?"  
  
"Yeah. Um,"  
  
"What is it?" Harry asked gently.  
  
"I invited my mom and sisters over. They're in the kitchen." Louis looked nervous.  
  
"Ah. That's good Lou. I can meet them. Unless you want me to go?"  
  
"No, no! Stay. I just didn't know if you wanted to meet them now." Louis blushed.  
  
"Why wouldn't I? I want you to meet mine so its only fair that I meet yours." Harry grinned and kissed Louis' cheek. "Lead the way?"  
  
Jay's heart pounded in her chest as she heard the footsteps nearing. The girls all stared excitedly. They'd wanted to run after Harry but she managed to stop them.  
  
"Mom, girls, this is Harry." The girls waved excitedly and Jay smiled, looking intently at Harry's every move. Right now he was standing a step away from her son, not touching, and waving at them with a grin.  
  
"Harry this is my family, Lottie, Fizzy, Phoebe and Daisy." He pointed at each of his sisters. "And my mom."  
  
"Jay." She smiled and Harry's grin hadn't disappeared.  
  
"Its a pleasure to meet you. Sorry for interrupting." He apologized then turned to Louis. "Could I borrow your charger?"  
  
"Yes. Here Give me your phone." Harry did and Louis disappear into the living room.   
  
"How are you doing girls?" Harry sat on the empty seat, smiling at the girls gawking at him and completely ignoring their food.  
  
"Great!" Phoebe grinned.  
  
"Me too!" Daisy nodded.  
  
"I'm also great." Fizzy smiled shyly at him.  
  
"I'm good. You?" Lottie tried her best to not look as excited. Harry saw right through it and so did Jay. Neither mentioned it.  
  
"Me too!" He replied cheerfully. "Louis told me he cooked that. I hope your mom helped because he's a lost cause in the kitchen."  
  
The girls giggled and Jay fought back a smile.  
  
"I'm not that bad." Louis frowned at Harry.  
  
"Yes you are, darling. Want me to tell the girls how you burned the-"  
  
"Don't mind him." Louis covered Harry's mouth with his hand.   
  
"I'm only telling the truth." Harry pulled Louis' hand off and held onto it.  
  
"Do you want to join us? Or have you already eaten?" Louis felt an odd thrill at, for once, being taller than Harry.  
  
"I haven't eaten. But I'll serve myself." He stood up.  
  
"Oh no I can do it." Louis protested but Harry rolled his eyes and stopped him with a hand on his forearm.  
  
"It's fine. Just sit, I'll be right out." Harry kissed his forehead and then turned to his family. "Excuse me."  
  
"He sure is polite." Jay commented as Harry left and Louis sat down. She had noticed how gentle Harry was with her son and wondered if he knew what had happened.  
  
When he came back he smiled at her son and sat down next to Lottie. A seat away from Louis.  
  
"Your mom definitely helped you with this." Harry stated. "Its really good Jay."  
  
"Thank you." She smiled. "You've cooked with my son then?"  
  
"Yes. I noticed his lack in skill in the kitchen from day one. We made pizza and cake and he just stared at me wide eyed and lost." Harry chuckled. "But he pretended to know what he was doing for about ten minutes. It was cute." Harry winked at Louis.  
  
"I hate you."  
  
"Of course you do." Harry laughed.  
  
Dinner went by surprisingly smooth. Jay still had her reservations and Harry noticed.

  
"Harry?" Phoebe looked at him shyly.  
  
"Yes?" He smiled down at her.   
  
They were in the living room. All staring at Harry now.  
  
"Can I have a picture with you?"   
  
"Phoebe!" Jay looked mortified.  
  
"No its okay. You can have a picture."  
  
"I want one too!" Daisy got up and sat next to Harry.   
  
"So do I." Fizzy sat up straighter.  
  
"If they're having one I want one too." Lottie looked at her feet. It was hard pretending you didn't want to throw yourself at your idol.  
  
Jay watched for Harry's reaction. For a look of distaste or annoyance. Found none. Instead the boy was grinning big, eyes shining as he winked at her blushing son.  
  
"How about a group picture?" Louis suggested. He didn't want Harry to be annoyed.  
  
So they went with that. Harry sat with Phoebe and Daisy on his lap, Lottie on his left and Fizzy on his right.   
  
"Don't you want to be in the picture Louis?" His mother asked.  
  
"I already have a bunch." Louis shook his head and then blushed at the look his mother was giving him. Then pointed accusingly at Harry. "He insisted!"  
  
"Guilty." Harry smiled sheepishly.  
  
"Wait. _You_ asked Louis for a picture?" Lottie couldn't believe it.  
  
"I did." Harry smiled.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
After that Louis took the picture and it was set. Jay softened only a little towards Harry. She still had to be around him more to truly have a solid opinion.   
  
"Li? What happened?" Harry had his back to Louis' family. Answering the phone that was charging. "What?! Is he okay? No, I'm on my way. Bye."  
  
When he turned around there was worry written all over his face. Heun plugged his phone and looked straight into Louis' eyes.  
  
"I have to go. Zayn is in the hospital. Apparently he tried a stunt on a skateboard inside the studio." Harry shook his head. "I'll call you okay? Probably won't be able to see you tomorrow. I've got rehearsals, but I can come the day after?"  
  
"Don't worry about it. We can talk plans later. Go, Zayn needs you right now." Louis smiled and Harry relaxed.  
  
"Okay. Thank you for having me. Hopefully we'll meet again. He said his goodbyes to Louis' family and then his boyfriend was walking him to the door.  
  
"I'll call later okay?"  
  
"Its fine Hazza. Don't worry about me." Louis pushed him to the door.  
  
"May I?"  
  
And Jay finally understood. Harry asked her son permission to kiss him. Or it was a means of warning perhaps as in not to startle him. She felt like crying when Louis nodded with a small smile and rose on his tip toes to meet Harry in the middle.  
  
She saw the careful way Harry held onto Louis. How his hands stayed safe on his waist and the kiss gentle. When he kissed her son's forehead she was looking away. She would definitely cry otherwise.  
  
When the door locked Louis came back and she couldn't help but blurt it out.  
  
"Is he always that gentle with you?"  
  
"Yes." Louis blushed and then winced. "He knows."  
  
"Oh. Did Eleanor tell him?"  
  
Louis shook his head. "I did. But even before that he was always gentle and patient. He's not pushy unless you refuse to share your food. Harry likes sneaking food away from your plate. He stopped himself today because you were here and he doesn't know you that well."  
  
"What does he do if you refuse to share?" Lottie asked.  
  
"Make puppy eyes. Tries to bribe you. Threatens to never make cake or cookies for you. Those are really good by the way. Threatens to sing for you." Louis shuddered.  
  
"But he's a good singer!" Lottie looked offended.  
  
"Not when he's aiming for a high pitched screeching ear shattering voice. He can really pull that off. Its painful and funny but still painful." Louis made a face at the memory and the girls laughed.

~~

It was a week later from Harry meeting his family, that they were sitting down on the couch having another serious conversation.  
  
"We have an interview tomorrow and they might ask who we're dating. I just want to know if you're sure about this."   
  
"I am Harry. I don't mind it really. Its who you are and I won't change it for anything." Louis smiled at his boyfriend. "But if you want to wait is fine with me."  
  
"The thing I want the most right now is to shout out that you're mine and that I'm yours. I just want everyone to know." Harry kissed Louis' hand.  
  
"Don't hold back because of me." Then Louis had an idea. It was time. "Do you want to go get ice cream?"  
  
"Yeah, I'll be back as fast as I can." Harry started to get up but Louis shook his head and stopped Harry.  
  
"I mean both of us." Louis bit his lips looking up at a static Harry.  
  
"You want to go out for ice cream with me?" Harry couldn't stop grinning.  
  
"Yes. If its not an inconvenience." He smiled.  
  
"You are never an inconvenience. Lets go!"  
  
"Harry wait! I need shoes and my phone and wallet!" Louis chuckled as Harry dragged him to the door.  
  
"Oh. Well go on then. There are ice creams to buy."  
  
  
When they were exiting the building Harry grabbed Louis' hand in his.   
  
"If you start feeling uncomfortable, just let me know and we'll be back in a flash." Harry promised.  
  
"Thanks. But I think that won't happen. I've got you next to me, nothing to be afraid of right?" Louis blushed as they walked.  
  
"Of course not. If you feel bothered by anyone I'll get rid of them."  
  
"My knight in shining armor." Louis grinned. He noticed as people did double takes as they walked and tried his best to ignore it.   
  
He knew this was bound to happen. People will recognize Harry. It'll catch their attention. Louis just needed to get used to it.  
  
"Damn right. And you're my lovely prince." Harry kissed his temple and yes, people kept staring.  
  
It wasn't until they were inside the ice cream shop that people actually got closer.  
  
"Can I have a vanilla and," Harry tore his eyes away from the gawking cashier to look at Louis. "What do you want love?"  
  
"Mint chocolate chip." Louis replied with a blush.  
  
"And a mint chocolate chip ice cream. Cone or cup?" Harry once again asked Louis.  
  
"Cone, of course."  
  
"Good answer. I think I'll keep you." Harry winked and looked at the blushing girl.  
  
"Right away!" She said in a high pitched tone.  
  
"People are staring and some have been following us." Louis whispered against Harry's side.  
  
"They're just fans. No one's going to hurt you while I'm around. White knight remember?"  
  
"Oh Eleanor will make fun of us for an eternity if she ever found this out." Louis chuckled.  
  
"I think she'll get along with Niall just fine."  
  
"Here you go." The girl held two ice cream cones to the boys. Harry paid after a short argument of who should pay for what.   
  
"Um, could I maybe have your autograph? Please?" The girl looked red as a tomato. Hope written all over her face as she stared at Harry.  
  
"Sure." He smiled and ended up signing a napkin and her phone case. "Bye. Have a good day!"  
  
And they were walking away. He noticed several people with their phones out and his grip on Harry's hand tightened.  
  
"I'm fine. Just-- give me a minute." Louis assured his concerned boyfriend.  
  
The rest of the day was spent outdoors and to Louis' surprise, it went incredibly well.

~~

Their casual hang out caught up to them the next day at the band's interview.  
  
"Guys, every girl wants to know, who is available at the moment?" The woman interviewing the lads asked.  
  
Louis' heart pounded in his chest as he watched the TV.   
  
Eleanor had made him a twitter account that morning. He'd been engrossed in it. Following Harry and the rest of the lads immediately. Catching up with friends and the sort. He preferred twitter to facebook. It was more carefree to him.   
  
There he had seen a lot of tweets from Harry's fans with pictures of them attached. From their little ice scream date.  
  
"Only Niall and Liam are single?" The voice of the woman brought Louis back from his thoughts. "Now we know Zayn is engaged with our lovely Perrie Edwards. But Harry, who's the lucky girl?"  
  
"Boy. And I'm the lucky one." Harry smiled unfazed.  
  
"Right. Sorry about that." The interviewer blushed. "Who's this boy then? How long have you been together?"  
  
"His name is Louis. We've been together for a couple of weeks." They'd both decided not to give a specific date. Wanting their anniversary to be  only theirs.  
  
"That's lovely. What does he do?" All the attention was now shifted to Harry.  
  
They had also talked about this. Harry had said people were bound to ask and he also was curious as to what Louis did for a living seeing as he didn't go out much. So he'd told him how he worked from home and had to only go and show himself for checks.  
  
"He's in editing. Books and magazines. Also writes some columns here and there. He's amazing." Harry confessed and the boys started teasing him.  
  
"We've got some picture of you from yesterday, accompanied by a boy. Is this your Louis?" The interview pointed at a screen and sure enough pictures of him and Harry appeared. Some were blurry but others you could see them holding hands, laughing, tasting each others ice cream and silently vowing to never do that again.  
  
"That's him." Harry's smile was blinding.  
  
The interviewer kept asking a couple more questions about the topic and then moved on to their album and the sort.  
  
All Louis could think was: everyone knows I'm Harry's boyfriend.

 

~~

  
Twitter was a war zone.  
  
People had their own thoughts about Louis. Some good some bad. He got more followers than what he wanted. People kept asking him questions. Some left nasty comments. Some left nice ones.  
Harry told him to not pay attention to the negative stuff. So he didn't.  
  
After Harry's love tweet more fans went nuts.

  
  
 **Harry Styles** ( _@Harry_Styles_ )  
 _When I looked into your eyes I knew you were the one @Louis_Tomlinson_

  
Louis was a blushing mess and he thanked the Gods for finding the tweet while still inside the safety of his home.  
  
After a few deep breaths he tried his best with a reply. He was never good with words but for Harry he'll put an effort.

 **Louis Tomlinson** ( _@Louis_Tomlinson_ )  
 _It was when I heard your voice, when I felt your tender touch, that I knew I'll never be able to let go @Harry_Styles_

And he probably shouldn't have done that. His twitter was being spammed and his name and Harry's were trending.  
  
 **Cecily Austin** (@cecya)  
 _Omg! So many feels! They are simply the loveliest couple! **#HarryandLouis**_  
  
 **Amy Steele** (@iluv1d)  
 _Did you guys read that?! They are so in love! **#HarryandLouis**_  
  
 **Whitney Morgan** (@Niallismine)  
 _ **#HarryandLouis** You guys! Have you all seen the size difference? Its so cute! Can't wait to see them together again! _

  
  
Louis kept scrolling through tweets. Wondering about their reaction when they actually saw them together. When they catched them hugging or perhaps kissing.   
  
Everything was so surreal.  
  
And it became more apparent the next day when he was shopping for milk and juice. He ran out of those. Plus he'd been going out a little bit more now.  
  
He was meeting with Harry for dinner. So he was a bit nervous.  
  
"Eleanor." He called as he walked around the isles. She'd needed to do her shopping too and it had been a while since they've done this.   
  
Sure they've hung out in his room or hers. But this was different.  
  
"Eleanor!" He called again. The woman wasn't picking up the phone and he already got what he needed.   
  
Then he saw them, a group of girls right behind him.  
  
His urge to find Eleanor became ten times more necessary.  
  
"Excuse me?" One of the girls finally approached him.  
  
"Yes?" He couldn't hide the nervousness in his voice.  
  
"Are you Louis Tomlinson? Harry's boyfriend?" Oh. Fans. Not serial killers or kidnappers or sadistic bastards.  
  
"I am." Louis frowned. Not knowing where this was going made him nervous.  
  
"I follow you on twitter. You and Harry are the best together. I just want to let you know we support your relationship." The girl was blushing now. "And if you could give this to Harry?"  
  
"Um, sure. Thanks by the way." Louis grabbed the envelope and let out a sigh of relief as he saw Eleanor making her way through the girls.  
  
"Louis! I've been searching for you. I've got everything I need."  
  
"I've been looking for you too! Tried calling but you wouldn't pick up." He accused with a scowl.  
  
"Oh, my phone's on silent." Eleanor shrugged. "Hi!" She turned to the girls.  
  
"Hello. We'll get going. Bye Louis!" And the girls were gone.  
  
"Who were they?" Eleanor wondered as they headed to pay.  
  
"Fans. They want me to give this to Harry. And they said they support our relationship." Louis let out a frustrated groan. "I just don't know why they like me so much. Did you see all the followers I've got on twitter? Its insane! I don't tweet anything interesting."  
  
"Its all part of being with Harry. People want to know about his personal life and well you're in it. Fans want to know everything. And you're a great guy Louis, people notice that." She set down her things and the cashier pretended not to listen to their conversation. "Plus, you aren't bragging about dating someone famous."  
  
"Well, I don't see him like that? He's Harry to me. I don't think about how he's famous or how much money he has or all those things. I just like spending time with him."  
  
"He knows doesn't he?" Eleanor smiled softly at her friend, touching a supportive arm to his shoulder.  
  
"Yes. And he loves me." Louis couldn't help the blush or the smile.  
  
"And so do I." Eleanor chuckled. "I know. Different kind of love. But I do Louis. Always."  
  
"Same here El."   
  
After that they went home and said their goodbyes by the door.  
  
"Good luck tonight." Eleanor winked and left Louis feeling more nervous.

  
~~

  
He'd changed outfits three times. It was frustrating.  
  
Are you sure you don't want me to pick you up? -Harry  
  
Louis sighed. He had half an hour to get ready and be at the restaurant.  
  
I'm sure. I'll see you in a few.  
  
 _Hurry. I miss you! **-Harry**_  
  
The smile on his face didn't banish as he finally decided what to wear.  
  
Dark colored jeans that were held his every curve. He hadn't worn them in ages and was surprised they still fit. Plus it made his bum look good. And he wanted to look great for Harry. Knew people were bound to see them and wanted to look his best to not shame Harry. Even though his boyfriend wouldn't care if Louis wore a sack of potatoes as a dress.  
  
He then grabbed a black button up t shirt. Short sleeves. He was done with hiding as he folded said sleeves.  
  
Louis decided to leave his hair with the side fringe. Harry liked that and so did he.  
  
As he looked himself in the mirror he grinned. He was still in shape. This outfit showed all of his curves in the best way possible.  
  
Now he only hoped Harry liked it.

 

  
  
He arrived at the restaurant with five minutes to spare.  
  
"Do you have a reservation sir?" The lady asked.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Under what name?"  
  
Right of course. He swore it was the nerves making him slow.  
  
"Harry Styles."  
  
"And your name sir?"  
  
"Louis," when she raised an eyebrow he blushed. "Tomlinson."  
  
"Good. He's waiting for you. Please follow me."  
  
And he did. The place was a bit on the fancy side, similar to the one where they met.  
  
The woman led him through several tables and more private areas until he was standing before his boyfriend.  
  
"A waiter will come shortly. Enjoy your stay." The woman excused herself.   
  
Harry got up from his seat, staring at Louis straight in the eyes and then looking him from head to toe. Not being subtle at all.  
  
"You look beautiful." Harry breathed making Louis blush a madly pink.  
  
"Thank you. So do you." Harry was wearing black tight skinny jeans with a more loose maroon colored button up t shirt.  
  
When Harry tilted his head to the side Louis nodded in silent agreement. Then he was being kissed. It was tender, simple and it made him shiver.  
  
Harry pulled away and waited until Louis was sat down for him to do the same.  
  
He noticed the people at the tables nearby kept stealing glances. Thankfully no one came close and they enjoyed their  time.   
  
Louis had never laughed so hard in his life. Well, not since he got back.  
  
"Your jokes are so terrible." He wiped away tears.  
  
"Why are you laughing then? You're even in tears!" Harry pointed an accusing finger.  
  
"They're so bad its funny somehow." Louis chuckled and took a bite of dessert. "I swear you're trying to get me to gain weight. You've been feeding me like crazy."  
  
So what if it was their third dessert?  
  
"These pies are delicious. You can't deny that." No he couldn't. "Plus I would love you anyway you were."  
  
"Well be warned that I'll leave you if you grow a belly." Louis said with a serious face that he kept for about three seconds.  
  
"Oh god! Your face! I'm kidding love. I am." He couldn't stop laughing and Harry had never felt happier.

~

  
It was Louis' idea really.  
  
They had been walking around aimlessly, trying to work out a bit because they felt too full. When they came across a club.  
  
Since he was feeling brave he told Harry if he wanted to dance. After several minutes of talking about the subject, both walked in.  
  
It wasn't too crowded seeing as it was still a bit early so that was a  good thing.  
  
"I haven't danced in a while." Louis commented as they walked to where people were dancing their life away.  
  
"I'm not very good at it." Harry blushed.  
  
As it turned out neither were good at it but they found their rhythm alright.  
  
Soon Louis was pressed against Harry's chest. His hips aligning on Harry's as they slowly grinded on each other.  
  
"Are you okay with this?" Harry's voice was deeper as he whispered in Louis ear.  
  
"Yes." He answered nodding for emphasis.   
  
Harry's hands on his hips felt hot. He also felt Harry hardening. It should scare him, but it only made him want more.  
  
"When you want to stop or leave, we will." Harry promised.  
  
Louis nodded again and bit off a moan as Harry's grip on his hips tightened and his movements had more intent to them.  
  
"You are the most beautiful man I've ever seen." Harry growled in his ear. "I love you so much Louis. You have no idea."  
  
"I think I do." He was then facing his boyfriend. Hooking his arm around his neck and kissing him with all his might.  
  
Harry has been so good to him. Not once in all these time has he tried to force himself of Louis, or push him into something he doesn't want. He always gives Louis the same promise: ' _I'll stop when you tell me to_.'  
  
Now he didn't want to stop. He had a sudden need for Harry he'd never felt before.  
  
"I want you to go buy me a drink. Then take me home and," Louis nibbled on his lips as he  rose on his toes to reach Harry's ear. "I want you to make love to me tonight."  
  
Harry's breath hitched. He pushed Louis back to stare into his eyes.  
  
"Are you sure?"   
  
"Positive. I love you Haz. I want to be with you if you'll have me." He was more nervous now. The thought of Harry being disgusted by him mortified him to no end. What if he said no? _What if he never wanted to touch me like that?_ , Louis thought.  
  
"Okay. Okay." Harry close his eyes. "I'll get us those drinks and then we can go home. Just know that if you change your mind I'll understand."  
  
"I know." Louis smiled. "Now go."  
  
Harry walked away and Louis went to the table where they had been before. Catching Harry's eye and waving at him.  
  
"Hello sweetheart." A male stood before Louis. "Why is someone as gorgeous as you sitting alone?"  
  
"I'm not alone. My boyfriend is here." Louis started to panic. What if this man tried to hurt him?  
  
"I don't see anyone here."  
  
"He's getting our drinks." Louis started to feel dizzy. "Please leave."  
  
"Oh no. I don't think you're telling the truth. I saw the way you looked at me when you danced. Moving those sinful hips for me." The man started to get closer and Louis stood up.  
  
"I wasn't dancing for you. I don't know you. Go away." Louis started walking away when the man was pulling him back. And the man was hard.  
  
"No. Let me go. Don't touch me!" Louis started screaming. Some people noticed but they just stared.   
  
"Stop playing hard to get. You were asking for it!" That paralyzed Louis for a  second.  
  
 _You were asking for it._  
  
 _You were asking for it._  
  
"No! Let go of me! Harry! Harry! Help me!" Louis screamed at the  top of his lungs as he struggles against the grip of the laughing man. "Stop! Don't touch me you bastard! Harry! Harry!"  
  
"Shut up already you-"   
  
It was all too fast. Harry came out of nowhere. He punched the guy who let go of Louis who was now in Harry's arms crying.  
  
"I wasn't asking for it. I wasn't! I swear! Harry you have to believe me, I wasn't asking for it."  
  
"I know baby. I know. Don't cry. Everything's okay now." Harry wiped away the tears and held him close. Then looked at the man across from him holding a bloody nose.   
  
"If I ever see your face again I will kill you." Harry threatened. The man just walked away. Then he looked at the people surrounding them. "Yeah, thanks for the help! We appreciate it."   
  
Several people looked away.  
  
"Lets go home Lou." Harry kissed the top of his head and he nodded.

~~

  
"I'm sorry." Louis blurted once they were inside his home.  
  
"There's nothing to apologize for. None of it was your fault." Harry hugged him.  
  
"I was just sitting there and he came at me. I told him I was with someone but he called me a  liar. I tried to leave but then he grabbed me and-" he shook his head. "Harry I didn't want him to  touch me. I wasn't dancing for him. I wasn't asking for it."  
  
"Lou, baby, stop." Harry held each side of Louis' face with his hands. Made him look at him. "I know. It wasn't your fault. I know it wasn't. You don't have to explain that to me."  
  
"I just don't want you to think I am that kind of guy. I don't cheat." Louis held onto Harry's hand on his face. "I love you. Only you. I don't want to be with  anyone else."  
  
"Louis, I didn't think you were cheating. I know you aren't like that." He kissed the shorter lad's forehead. "I love you honey. None of this makes me think less of you. Believe me when I say that I'll stand by you as long as you want me to."  
  
"I've ruined everything haven't I?" Louis shook his head, stopping Harry from protesting. "I really wanted for things to be perfect tonight. I really wanted to spend the night with you. But now I've gone and ruined it. I just- I don't want you to be disgusted by me."  
  
"Louis!" Harry raised his voice making him cringe. "You do not disgust me. You haven't ruined anything. It was that asshole's fault, not yours."  
  
He then stepped closer to Louis.  
  
"Everytime I see you my heart starts beating faster. You take my breath away, Lou. You're so beautiful. So, so beautiful. Perfect for me. I love you Louis. Just the way you are. Even though you don't like my jokes." Harry grinned as Louis chuckled at the last part.  
  
"Could we try it then?" Louis is blushing as he looks at his boyfriend straight in the eyes.  
  
"Only if you're really sure. I don't want you to feel forced."  
  
"I'm not. When you touch me I don't feel scared. Its quite the opposite. And I want to be  with you. I really do." Louis shifted in his feet and nibbled on his lower lip. "All I ask is to take things slow. I haven't been with anyone for a very long time."  
  
"Anything you want." Harry leaned closer to Louis. "Promise to stop me if you feel uncomfortable or you don't like what I do."  
  
"I doubt that'll happen."  
  
"Promise. Please."  
  
"I promise." Louis let out then Harry was kissing him. It started slow at first and then Harry was tasting every inch of Louis' mouth. He moaned at that giving Harry more confidence.  
  
Another moan escaped him as Harry grabbed his bum. It felt so good. It Had never felt like that before.  
  
"Jump." Harry instructed and he did. In a second he had his legs wrapped around Harry's waist. Their cocks aligned and both groaned at the contact.  
  
Soon Harry was setting him on the floor next to his bed. Tugging at Louis' shirt. When he got a nod of approval he took it off.  
  
"So beautiful." He murmured and gently laid Louis down on his bed. Climbing over him, Louis' legs automatically parted and then wrapped around Harry.   
  
"Off?" Louis asked Harry. He complied taking his shirt off. "Oh." Louis let out. Harry was gorgeous. So so beautiful.  
  
Harry ran his hands over Louis' chest and when his hands brushed his nipples, Louis' back arched and he moaned.  
  
"You're very sensitive." Harry's voice was filled with awe as he repeated the motion. Then his mouth latched onto one of the nipples while his hand played with the other. He nibbled, licked, sucked and pulled at the nub enjoying the way Louis shuddered with pleasure under him.  
  
"Harry!" Louis groaned as his boyfriend repeated the motion with his other nub.  
  
When Harry pulled back it was to admire Louis' pink and swollen nipples. Then he was back  to kissing him while he undid his pants.  
  
Louis was a bit nervous on this part. Harry pulled both pants and briefs down, leaving Louis  completely exposed. Watching him with so much hunger in his eyes. Louis had to remind himself who this was. That Harry wouldn't hurt him  because he loved him.  
  
"You are stunning." Harry breathed and then he was marking Louis with love bites, driving him crazy. And when Harry's mouth wrapped around his cock he screamed.  
  
"Oh my god!" He tried catching his breath. It was bit   embarrassing to be honest but he was very sensitive and if you add the several months of celibacy... he was a wreck already.  
  
"You taste so good." Harry commented and then got back to work. He loved the weight of Louis' cock on his tongue. He Loved the salty taste. The way Louis would shudder or scream or moan as his cock hit the back of Harry's throat. So that when he   pulled off Louis was whining.  
  
But Harry wasn't done tasting. No. He pushed Louis' legs until they were nearly touching Louis' chest. His pink hole visible to him. He couldn't resist going for it right away.   
  
When Louis felt Harry's tongue on his hole he truly lost it. His back arched, his mind went blank, his hands fisted on the bed sheets and he simply couldn't stop moaning Harry's name.  
  
He never knew it could feel this good. That he was allowed to feel pleasure. Harry was showing him all that he could without forcing him, without hurting him.  
  
"H-Harry, I'm gonna- I'm.."  
  
"Let go baby." Harry said and went back to eating him out while his hand worked on his neglected cock.  
  
He Was letting out tiny gasps as he neared his orgasm. It was as if Harry felt it because he quickened his pace and in seconds Louis was coming all over himself.  
  
Harry pulled back and gave into the urge. He took Louis' cock in his mouth, earning a whine and a gasp from him.   
  
"Definitely taste good. Really good." Harry complimented and Loui blushed.  
  
They were kissing again and then Harry was naked too.  
  
"Do you have lube?" Harry hoped but already knew the answer.  
  
"No but... give me your hand." Louis reached and Harry complied. Then his eyes rolled back into his  head as Louis took two fingers inside his mouth. It was a beautiful sight.  
  
"You're going to kill me one of these days." Harry groaned. Not moving his hand he started kissing over Louis' chest. Kissing the fading scars and leaving more love bites. The smaller lad moaning around his fingers.  
  
"I think that's okay." Harry pulled his hand away and looked at Louis. "We can stop if you want." Harry felt bad that he wished Louis Said no.  
  
"I want to feel you inside me."  
  
Yeah. This boy will be the death of him.  
  
"Alright. Okay. Just tell me if it hurts." Harry slowly slipped a finger inside Louis. God, he was tight around him.  
  
"Okay?" He asked, moving the finger  in and out slowly.  
  
"Yeah. You can use another." Louis writhed underneath him as he complied. Not taking his eyes off Louis' face. Looking for any sign of discomfort or distaste. Anything that signaled for him to  stop.  
  
It took him a minute but soon his finger were brushing against Louis' prostate. If Louis was a loud before, well this didn't compare. And Harry loved how responsive he was.   
  
He slipped a third finger and kept hitting Louis' prostate with every thrust and shift of his  hand.  
  
"Stop. Stop. Stop!" Louis chanted and Harry immediately removed his hands off Louis.  
  
"What's wrong? Did I hurt you? Oh God I'm so sorry. Here, I'll bring something to clean  you up." Harry started to move but Louis' locked his legs on  either side of Harry's hips.  
  
"No. It's not that. You didn't hurt me." Louis assured with a content smile. "I was about to come again. I don't want to come until you're inside me."  
  
"Oh." Relief washed over Harry. He hadn't hurt Louis. "Okay. How do you want to-"  
  
"Like this. I want to see you." Louis smiled sweetly at Harry and he leaned in to kiss him. Moving his mouth down to his neck. Leaving marks there too.  
  
"I'll go slow." Harry promised and Louis trusted him completely. There was nothing to be afraid of.  
  
At his nod of approval, Harry lined himself up and slowly started going in. It took all of his self control to not push inside in one go. That could hurt Louis and that's the last thing he wanted.  
  
"Okay?" He asked when he was halfway in.  
  
"Yes. Keep going." Louis encouraged but his voice sounded strained. Harry was big and Louis  tried his best to not  wince. He didn't want Harry to worry and stop.  
  
When he was fully in. Harry grasped onto the bit of sanity still left in him and didn't move.  
  
"Tell me when." He gasped.  
  
Louis shifted a tiny bit and winced. He stayed still for a minute too. And then that turned uncomfortable.  
  
"Move."  
  
Harry didn't wait to be told twice. He was gentle about it  but still moved out and  back in, Louis winced a little but then Harry must've touched his prostate because Louis arched up beautifully and moaned loud and long.  
  
"Right there. Please, _please_ don't stop." Louis begged and who  was Harry to deny  him anything?  
  
Harry quickened his pace only when Louis asked him to.  
  
Soon both were coming at the same time. Harry pulled out and threw away the condom then left Louis on the bed as the small  lad whined. When He Came back he cleaned Louis' come with the small towel as well as himself.  
  
"Thank you for being so good to me." Louis cuddled up. His head on Harry's chest, arm and leg thrown over  the much larger boy.  
  
"I would do anything for you  Lou." Harry wrapped his arms around him. "I love you."  
  
"I love you." Louis kissed his chest. "Sleep now?"  
  
"Yes. We can sleep." Harry kissed the top of his head  and it wasn't long before both were asleep.

  
  
~~

  
Louis woke up with an ache in his lower back and wrapped up in something warm.  
  
When he opened his eyes all he was was a male chest. Very sexy male chest. The memories of last night caught up to him and he couldn't hold back his smile.  
  
"Morning sleepy head." Harry's voice was music for his ears.  
  
"Good morning. Have you been awake long?"  
  
"Probably ten minutes." Harry kissed his nose. "What do you think about pancakes?"  
  
"With blueberries?"  
  
"With blueberries." Harry grinned at the adorable look on his lovers face.  
  
"I think that's a great idea." Louis grinned back, earning a soft morning kiss.  
  
"How about we shower and then I'll make us breakfast?" Harry suggested with a glint in his eyes.  
  
"I like that even more." Louis sat up too quick and with a groan fell back down.  
  
"What's wrong? Are you okay? God was I too rough?" Harry sat up panicking.   
  
"I'm fine. Just a bit sore and no, you weren't too rough. You were perfect. Everything was perfect." Louis assured and this time he was more careful in getting up.

  
  
Their innocent shower turned into shower sex which then led to lazy sex after that in bed. Its was as if they simply couldn't get enough. Every time it got better and Louis loved Harry's attention. It was as if he was the only thing that mattered.  
  
"I'll get it." Louis got up from the stool in the kitchen as he heard the knock on his front door.   
  
Harry was currently dressed in only boxers as he made the pancakes. He'd also called his bandmates and Louis could hear the wolf whistles and the cheers.   
  
"Going!" He called out. Undoing the locks and for the first time not bothering about whether the person on the other side would be able to hurt him.  
  
"Morning Louis. I was wondering, do you have coffee?" Eleanor, like always, went right in. She was in her pjs and held a mug.  
  
"Good morning El." Louis smiled. "Do you want a cup or the whole deal?"  
  
"Just a cup. I need to wake up fast. James invited me to this hike and he's coming to get me in two hours." She ran a hand through her messy hair. "I don't like camping. Its scary. The thing you do for love."  
  
"Right." Louis chuckled. "Come on then. Time for you to wake up."  
  
He walked towards the kitchen with her following. She always needed coffee on mornings or she was like a zombie throughout the whole day.  
  
"It smells good. What are you cook-" she stop walking and talking all together once she saw Harry standing in front of the stove with a spatula in hand and wearing nothing but boxers. Then she looked at Louis who wore only sweatpants. His chest covered in lovebites.  
  
"Oh!" She blushed and tried fixing her hair but it was too late, so she ended up shrugging. "Hello Harry!"  
  
"Hi, Eleanor. Want some pancakes?" Harry being the nice guy offered.  
  
"I just came for coffee. But thanks." She shook her head.  
  
"Give me." Louis made grabby hands for Eleanor's mug so she handed it to him.  
  
She noticed the intimate brush of Harry's fingertips along Louis' forearm. A lover's touch. Eleanor couldn't be happier for her friend. They'll have to discuss details when they both had alone time.  
  
"Here you go. Are you sure you don't want to stay?" Louis gave her the cup of coffee just how she liked it.  
  
She moaned as she took a taste. "Have I told you you're the love of my life?"  
  
"Everytime I share my coffee when you run out of it." Louis shook his head. They'd gone shopping the day before. How she forgot to buy her coffee was unbelievable.   
  
"Well." Eleanor winked. "I better go. James will be here shortly. Have a great day both of you."

  
  
As she walked out of Louis' flat and into her own she suddenly realized that she hadn't had a weird dream. It was actually moaning and screams. It was her best friend having very loud and apparently very pleasurable sex, right next door.  
  
"Oh my!" She blushed at the memories.

~~

  
Two weeks later and Harry was in New York. Had a concert there tonight and he missed him so much. They hadn't seen each other so when Harry called and told him that he'd bought him a ticket to New York so they could see each other, Louis was ecstatic.  
  
Right now he was waiting for his luggage. He'd brought his laptop and made sure his phone was on. He'd managed to convince his boss about letting him work even though he was away. He was already working from home so it was no big deal really. So his boss had agreed and Eleanor was picking up his check.  
  
Once he had his bag, Louis walked to the exit of the airport. Only a few girls turned to look at him and recognized him. Louis' pictures with Harry were all over social media.   
  
"Hazza!" He stops next to the exit, getting out of peoples way.  
  
"Lou, honey are you still at the airport?" Harry's voice made his insides melt.  
  
"Yes. Was about to call for a taxi or something."  
  
"Don't I'll go pick you up. I'll be there in ten minutes. Wait for me?"   
  
"Of course!"  
  
"I'll call when I get there. Bye love." They said their goodbyes and Louis went to find a place to sit down.  
  
Five minutes in and he was surrounded by girls who weren't being as subtle as they thought in video taping him.  
  
"You are so cute!" One of the girls complemented.  
  
"Thanks." Louis smiled and checked his phone again. He'd noticed how the girls were trying to get him to talk as much as they could.  
  
"Are you going to the concert tonight?" Another girl asked.  
  
"I think so. Yes." Then he gave up. Nothing wrong with talking to strangers. God, he knew better. But these girls seemed harmless. "Are you girls going?"  
  
They beamed as he finally gave them a source of conversation.  
  
"I am! I'm going with my best friends. Front row and all." She sounded very excited.  
  
"I'm in the middle and my boyfriend's coming with me. Finally convinced him." Another girl blushed.  
  
"I can't make it tonight but I'm definitely going on one of their other dates." She grinned.  
  
"I have a question." One girl said. At Louis' nod she continued. "Why do you like Harry?"  
  
Louis couldn't hold back his smile as he replied.  
  
"I love Harry because he's really nice, gentle, honest, loving, sweet. Because he stood by my side since day one no matter what. Because he always sees the good in people. Because even though his jokes are awful he still makes me laugh. And for many more personal reasons."   
  
"That's lovely!"  
  
"He's a great guy!"  
  
"I knew he was perfect."  
  
Harry wasn't perfect. Everyone had flaws. But yes, Harry was perfect for him.  
  
"Is Harry picking you up?" 

  
Oh, what is he supposed to answer?  
  
He went for the truth. Kind of. Because he was being filmed so...  
  
"I think so." Much to his relief the girls didn't text or call anymore fans.  
  
When his phone rang he jumped in his seat, blushing when the girls chuckled.  
  
"I'm outside. Black SUV right on the entrance." Harry informed and Louis stood up. "By any chance are there fans with you?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Okay. Do they know I'm coming for you?"  
  
"Kind of." Louis' voice was pure nerves.  
  
"Its okay love. Just tell them I've arrived for you. Come quickly afterwards. We don't want to draw a crowd, I want time for you to meet my family."  
  
"What?! Oh my god, Haz! Why didn't you tell me? I'm not dressed appropriately! A little heads up would've been appreciated." Louis shook his head and looked mortified. He was dressed in comfortable sweatpants and a plain shirt, beanie on his head and probably looked like he was just revived and died again.  
  
The girls across from him couldn't find him any cuter. They were whispering among themselves of how adorably distressed he looked.  
  
"They'll love you. And you always look beautiful Lou. Now get over here so I can kiss you."  
  
The girls saw the change in Louis' face immediately. It was a look of love, fondness.  
  
"Okay. I'm going." And he hung up, picked up his things and smiled st the girls. "My ride is here. It was nice talking to you girls. Have a nice day."  
  
"Tell Harry we love him!"  
  
"Goodbye!"  
  
"Have fun at the concert!"  
  
"It was lovely meeting you!"  
  
"Don't worry, we won't let people know your boyfriend is here. Well not until you've left anyways." The last girl winked and he gave them his thanks.

  
  
He speed walked to the exit and quickly climbed inside the car when the back door was opened.

And there he was, his Harry grinning widely at him. Giving him an awkward hug due to how they were sitting and soon he was being kissed. It’d been way too long since he felt his boyfriend’s lips on his. He’d missed his touch, his smiles, his laugh, the way his eyes brightened up. It wasn’t the same seeing him on video chats. It simply wasn’t enough.

So when he had the opportunity to kiss Harry, he did it with all his might. Pouring all of his feelings into it. And felt giddy when Harry moaned into the kiss. Loved the gentle way he still held him on, the urgency of the kiss without being forceful. And the promise that if he wanted to stop all he had to do was ask. Thing was, he never wanted to stop.

Harry made him want, need, his touch. He wanted to feel him against his skin.

Even though he spend two years of his life being a sex slave, to put it bluntly, this was all new to him. Sure, he knew how to pleasure, it was literally drilled into him, knew what to do and how to do it. But he’d never received pleasure in return. He never felt good. It was always painful, degrading, filthy.

With Harry he found out that he could too feel good while making his partner feel the same. That he was allowed to find pleasure. That if he asked for a minute, or simply wanted to stop all together, his plea would be obeyed.

And he loved Harry for standing by his side even though he knew Louis wasn’t pure. Even though sometimes during sex Louis still got nervous and fidgety. He love Harry for being who he was.

Reality, or more likely oxygen, brought him back to his senses. Both panted harshly against each other’s mouth, trying to catch their breaths.

“I miss you so much.” Harry murmured against his lips. Eyes roaming all over Louis’ face as if trying to memorize every single detail.

“Me too. I thought we wouldn’t be together for a couple of months.” Louis threw his arms around Harry and buried his face in his neck. He loved his smell. Had practically stolen two of Harry’s jumpers for that same reason. But it simply wasn’t the same.

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” Harry shifted nervously, causing Louis to pull back from the embrace.

“Okay.” Louis looked expectantly at him. He always had this little feeling that Harry will get tired of him and leave him. He always hoped not. But whenever Harry got serious or said he wanted to talk, Louis panicked.

“You know how we’ll be on tour for several months right?” At Louis’ nod Harry continued. “Well, I was thinking, since you work from home it would be the same as working from another country right? I mean, that way you could come on tour with us. We could be together everyday. It’ll be fun! I already talked to management about it and they’re good with it. So are the lads.”

Louis stared at Harry shocked. He wanted him on tour. Harry wanted to spend everyday with him. Wanted to have him around. The excitement was making Louis dizzy.

“What do you say? It’s all up to you.” Harry nibbled on his finger nervously.

“Yes! Of course. What kind of question is that?” Louis chuckled. “I just need to call my boss. Have Eleanor pick my checks and make the deposits so that I can have money available.”

“Wait. No Lou.” He stopped Louis from calling. “I’ll pay for the things that you’ll need. You don’t have to worry about it.”

“What? No. No Harry. I’m paying for my things. I’m not with you for your money!” Louis looked scandalized.

The driver came to a stop and announced they were at the hotel. There was a large crowd outside of it. But none of them got out of the car.

“I know you aren’t Louis but-“

“I have a well paid job for a reason Harry. I don’t want you wasting money on me. I can very well fend for myself. You don’t have to worry about me.” Louis held onto his boyfriend’s hand.

“But what if I want to spend money on you? What if I want to give you things?” Harry looked too handsome pouting.

“Then do it. But nothing too expensive. I don’t care for flashy things. I prefer things simple. But this doesn’t mean you’ll be spending money on me every chance you get.” Louis warned.

“You’re no fun.” Harry chuckled. “Fine. Okay. But don’t hesitate to ask for anything.”

“Now that you mention it, I sort of always wanted a car.” Louis went for a serious face but could only hold it for a minute at Harry’s expression. “God I loved your expressions. I’m kidding. I don’t want a car. I don’t even know how to drive, never got time to learn anyways. Plus, I like walking.”

“Lads, we have to go in.” the driver instructed and both boys nodded in agreement. Louis grabbed his bags and was ready to get out.

It was a good thing that there were these sort of rails keeping people out of the way of the entrance to the hotel.

“There are some paparazzi. Don’t listen to them okay?” Harry said.

“Okay. Now get out before they decide to jump those rails and come for you.” Louis chuckled.

Harry opened the door and got out. Screams and cries and what not was heard. His boyfriend’s name was being chanted and Louis suddenly felt nervous.

Harryextended his hand and Louis handed him one of his bags. He just carried two, one across his chest holding his laptop and all the things from work. The other one was filled with clothes.

When he got out people started calling for both. He went to take his bag back from his boyfriend but Harry wouldn’t let go.

“I’ve got it.”

“I’m not weak you know?” Louis rolled his eyes as they started walking hand in hand.

“I know love.” Harry’s arm went around his shoulders and the girls screamed louder, flashes were everywhere and in a second they were safe inside the hotel.

He wondered if it’ll be like that the whole time during touring.

Oh god, he was going to travel all around the world. It suddenly hit him and if he was nervous and anxious before, he was ready to die now.

 

~~

 

“Thanks Eleanor. I really appreciate it.” Louis smiled as he followed Harry around, talking on the phone with Eleanor after talking to his boss.

“It’s alright honey. Just bring me some souvenirs would you? Pretty please?”

“Of course. I’m going to miss you though.”

They didn’t have a proper goodbye since they thought they would be seeing each other in a couple of days. But now those turned into months.

“Me too! Who’s going to give me coffee when I run out?” Eleanor whined.

“You could always ask Ms. Rossi.” Louis laughed.

“The woman hates me after I tried to set her up with the janitor. I mean, the man is not ugly.”

“It just happens that he’s forty years younger. Has a wife and a kid. That was very awkward for both parts, El. Plus Ms. Rossi has someone.”

“How was I supposed to know that?! The man never leaves the place, I thought she was lonely and tried to help.” She said to her defense.

“James has better match making skills than you. Why don’t you use your spare time to feed my cat?”

“Louis, you don’t have a cat.”

“I could get one…?”

“Oh my God! You’re a pain in the- Hi James!” Eleanor’s tone changed. “Louis I have to go. But we’ll finish this conversation later.”

“Bye El.” As he hung up he came face to face with Harry’s back. “Haz, why did you-“

He stopped talking all together.

Harry and him were sharing a room, where they’d left Louis’ things. Then Harry insisted they needed to do something in another room and Louis had followed him around while he talked on the phone, not asking questions.

He wished he had.

In front of him where two women. They were staring at him. The older one with a small smile and the younger one with no expression at all. He felt judged.

“Lou, these are Gemma, my sister, and my mom, Anne.” Harry introduced. “Mom, Gemma, this is Louis.”

And Louis suddenly remembered he wasn’t dressed appropriately. So now he was blushing and smacking Harry over and over in his head.

“Hi. It’s nice to meet you.” He managed before he was being engulfed in a hug by Anne.

“Same here. Harry has told us so much about you.”

At that Louis panicked and looked at Harry. He seemed to understand and shook his head. Louis mouthed a ‘ _thanks_ ’. He didn’t want any more people knowing what had happened to him.

Gemma noticed the exchange and vowed to figure out what it was.

She shook Louis’ hand and he noticed he still didn’t have her approval.

They sat down to talk for a little while. It was awkward at first but then it got easier. He really liked Harry’s family and wished Gemma would stop giving him those glares. It was making him uncomfortable.

 

~~

 

It was time for the boys to perform. They were backstage, all of them. Louis got along just fine with Niall and Liam, it took a little bit but Zayn then warmed up to him. It was all working out.

“Can’t wait to get to our room and make love to you.” Harry whispered in Louis’ ear. He always refrained himself from saying ‘I want to fuck you’. He knew it made Louis uncomfortable and remember all those months. So he never used it. And Louis never had to tell him.

“Your family is here, everyone is staring Haz. Stop being a pervert.” Louis teased.

“You love me.”

“I do. Now have fun.” Louis smiled and placed a quick kiss to his boyfriend’s lips.

Soon the boys were going on stage and the families were being led to their assigned position. There they could watch the boys perform.

Once the music started the fans went wild. They sang along or screamed for the boys to look at them. Some threw things on stage and he nearly laughed at how the lads barely managed to escape getting hit.

When they were singing ‘ _Little Things’_ Harry didn’t take his eyes off Louis. He even went as far as changing the lyrics so that he was saying his name instead. Louis was crying.

“Here.” Gemma handed Louis a napkin that he wondered where she got it from. He cleaned his tears and smiled at her.

“Thanks.”

“He loves you, you know?”

“I know. And I love him too.” Louis’ eyes followed Harry on the stage. He looked beautiful.

“Why?”

“What?” Louis turned his attention back to Gemma.

“Why do you love him? What did he do?”

“He stayed with me even after knowing who I was.” Louis thanks every God out there for that. “And I love him because of who he is. Because he is loyal, because he’s sweet and loving. He makes sure I’m comfortable and always keeps his promises. He makes me laugh. He makes me happy. And so many more things that I wouldn’t change for the world.”

“You didn’t say because of his looks. Or his money.” Gemma wondered out loud and regretted it immediately. The hurt in Louis’ face made her feel sad. “I’m so-“

“No. Its fine. Its normal for you to think that. But I’m not with him because he can buy me stuff or because he looks a certain way.” It was true. If Harry would have been mean and abusive in any way, Louis wouldn’t spare him a glance. In fact wasn’t interested in him at the beginning. It was when they spend time together that he started noticing how beautiful Harry was. Inside and out.

“I know. I’m sorry.” Gemma still felt uncomfortable. “What did you mean when you said he stayed with you even knowing who you were? What happened?”

Again she wanted to slap herself. She should have asked all this to Harry. But she hadn’t had time and she wanted to know the boyfriend. But now, now she felt bad for asking these questions. If she saw hurt before now she saw raw pain. Louis looked terrified. He started shaking and closed his eyes tightly.

No. No. NO!

He could not have an episode here. Nothing had triggered his memory like this since the incident at the club. But now, when she asked that, his mind wondered to his locked up memories and now he couldn’t shut them off.

It was worse because this was Harry’s sister. What if she was disgusted and hated him? What if she convinced Harry he wasn’t worth his time? What if Harry decided to leave him? What then?

The painful memories together with his mini panic attack, or the beginning of one, was making things worse.

"I-I-"

 

_‘You dirty little whore. Stop crying and open your mouth! See if you get it right this time. And if you don’t swallow you’ll have to do it all over again.’_

_‘do you think he can take both of us?’_

_‘_ _how about three? Cover all his holes? I want his ass.’_

_‘same here’_

_‘I’ll take the mouth then. But you better swallow pet.’_

_‘a client is coming today. You better be good, he paid a lot of money for you. This is a one time thing so you better do it good and please the old man or I’ll have you whipped again. Understood?!’_

_‘you look so good like this. Covered in blood. Red is such a good color for you.’_

“Louis! Louis! Louis!”

He heard a far away voice and he tried to scream for help but no sound came out. He begged for someone to help him.

“Louis!”

Please. Somebody! Stop them, please stop them.

His ground shifted and he felt dizzy. He was moving but didn’t know where. They wouldn’t take the blindfold off.

His name was being chanted over and over and over but he couldn’t answer.

“What’s wrong with him?” he heard. Why is there a woman? There was never a woman before.

“I don’t know! He just started shaking and crying and I couldn’t get his attention.” Another woman cried.

Louis was confused. What is going on? Woman never touched him. He would remember that. Or where they taking him somewhere else now? Was he being sold?

“We have to get Harry. He should know what’s happening.”

 

_‘stop squirming bitch or it’ll get worse!’ another punch to his gut._

_‘he’s useless. Can’t even suck cock right.’_

_‘he’ll learn.’ Another punch and then a sharp sting on his back made him scream._

 

“Oh god.” He heard the female voice.

“What’s going on?” Harry was confused as he went off stage. Niall was talking nonsense. And Harry was confused as to why Paul had dragged him off.

“Louis, he- I don’t know what’s wrong!” his sister pointed at Louis, who was curled up on the couch. His eyes shut tight, tears running down his cheeks, hands covering his ears.

“What did you do to him?!” Harry ran to Louis’ side. When he laid a hand on him Louis screamed and Harry winced.

“Nothing! I just asked what had happened to him! We were talking and he said you stood by him even though you knew. So I asked what and he ended like this!” Gemma was on the verge of crying too.

“Harry what’s going on?” his mother looked at him.

“Stop. Stop. _Please stop._ ” Louis pleaded and Harry winced.

“He was kidnapped a couple of years ago.” He kneeled in front of Louis. “And the men that had him did horrible things to him. I’m guessing Gemma’s questions triggered a memory. This only happened once before, but it didn’t last this long.”

It had never happened like this. And he cursed himself for not talking to Eleanor. To ask if Louis had episodes like this before. She should know.

“ _No!_ ” Louis’ scream was filled with so much pain that Harry started crying. Then he went for it.

“Nobody else is getting inside this room. Tell the guys I can’t go back stage right now. To play a song or something.” Harry instructed. “And nobody dare make a comment about this.”

“Don’t touch me. Don’t. _Please_ let me go!” Louis struggled against Harry.

“Louis. Come back to me, Lou. Its Harry.” He pleaded.

“I’m not asking for it. I’m not. Let go. Let me go!” Louis started kicking, but Harry held on tightly.

“It’s okay. Lou. Open your eyes. Its me. It Harry.” He kept chanting that. Not knowing what else to say.

It took him several minutes before Louis went limp in his arms. He panicked.

“Alcohol. Find alcohol. Something to wake him up!” he snapped and turned back to Louis, slapping his cheek gently. “Louis. Baby, wake up. Louis.”

The alcohol did wake him up.

“No!” Louis struggled for a second before he recognized Harry’s smell, his hold, his voice. “Harry?”

He had to make sure.

“I’m here. You’re safe. You’re safe Lou.”

“Oh my God!” Louis was holding on tightly to Harry, crying all over his shirt. “I am so sorry. That hadn’t happened in so long. I’m sorry. I’m ruining your show. You have to be on stage. Oh god Hazza.”

“Shh. It’s fine. I’ll go when you’re better.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. Never apologize for that.” Harry pulled back and looked at him straight in the eyes. “Never. It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t. Repeat it.”

“It wasn’t my fault.” Louis let out a hiccup. Then he looked around the room. Anne, Gemma, Paul and another man were there. “I’m-“

“Don’t.” Harry instructed.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” That was the next best thing.

“I’m sorry for asking.” Gemma whipped away her tears. She’d seen the pained look in Harry’s eyes. Her brother was in deep. And now she knew why Louis was so thankful and happy. Harry accepted him. Well, so will she.

“It wasn’t your fault.” Louis was still shaking but he wasn’t about to ruin Harry’s show. “Go back on stage, Haz. I’ll be fine.”

“Lou-“

“I’m serious. I’ll stay here. I’ll be here when you get back. Now go before your fans hate me.” He pushed him off the couch with shaky arms.

“You’re okay. You’re safe.” Harry promised, kissing his forehead.

“I know.” He smiled back.

When he finally left, the tears came again. This time Anne and Gemma held him. Neither saying anything. They just held him until he felt better.

 

~~

 

That night, Harry held Louis close. Showering him with gentle kisses and touches. They didn’t make love that night. They simply talked about everything and nothing. From how they both wanted kids to what they should have for lunch tomorrow. They talked about the funny things that happened on stage.

It was comfortable talk. Taking their minds off what happened.

When Harry promised that one day they’ll get married and have kids, Louis believed him because Harry never broke his promises.

 

**Author's Note:**

> What do you think? 
> 
> Hope you liked it!
> 
> \--
> 
> Find me on:
> 
>  
> 
> [tumblr: ivoryxdreams](http://ivoryxdreams.tumblr.com/)
> 
>  
> 
> [ twitter: @ivoryXdreams ](https://twitter.com/ivoryxdreams)
> 
>  
> 
> [wattpad: ivoryXdreams](http://www.wattpad.com/user/ivoryXdreams) (Not fanfic though).


End file.
